i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
