You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize