We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
