i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize