I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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