wanna go halves on a baby?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
