Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
