i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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