i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
