hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
