when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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