There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
