508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
