jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
