i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
