wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
