you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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