Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
