it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
