Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
