OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
