If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Randomize
