I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
