I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
