he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
