next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
