I wish my penis had an off switch
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
