hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
