He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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