If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
