so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize