I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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