Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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