it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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