FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sext me about skeletons
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
