Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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