can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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