Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
