Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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