he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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