Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
