is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
