If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
