I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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