Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
