You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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