whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
