So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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