Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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