OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
