Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
