i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
false alarm. still invincible.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Randomize
