you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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