what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
