Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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