Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
