I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
