all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
