It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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