don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
