That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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