my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
