C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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