it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
