I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize