I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
