Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
