Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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