thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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