All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
3 2 1 whiskey
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
